I don't know how well these two April Foolers knew you, but that spot is still sore and most of us know that. If they don't know you well, then you can decide whether it is worth warning them of that sore spot for you. If they know you well, then perhaps an apology is in order.
Conversely, the classical definition of a fool jester is about testing to see how far comedy can go. They found your limit, but they know they were pushing and they should know that they found it.
I still get jittery about motorcycles because of Matt. And I was just his friend and violin teacher. Our community also lost Celtic Rock fiddler Leigh Ann Hussey the same way shortly after. I admired her and wanted to get to know her better. Now all I can do is play her music. If a part of me is still grieving for both of them, then it must be even tougher for you.
I think it is poor form to talk about motorcycles or death with anyone who has lost someone this way. Just as it is poor form to talk casually about cancer with someone grieving from losing a loved one to cancer. Cancer survivors have complete license to be flippant as long as they are leading the light treatment--follow their lead and stop when they stop.
As we live our lives we will trespass in the course of living upon the sore points of each other's lives. We must be sensitive and try not to stomp mercilessly. We all like having edgy friends who say the unsayable. It is an attractive and dangerous quality. We are not weak for having a sore spot or two, we just need to be aware that in life sometimes it is important to be gentle. Or to remind those around us to be gentle.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
hugs
Date: 2008-04-03 08:40 pm (UTC)Conversely, the classical definition of a fool jester is about testing to see how far comedy can go. They found your limit, but they know they were pushing and they should know that they found it.
I still get jittery about motorcycles because of Matt. And I was just his friend and violin teacher. Our community also lost Celtic Rock fiddler Leigh Ann Hussey the same way shortly after. I admired her and wanted to get to know her better. Now all I can do is play her music. If a part of me is still grieving for both of them, then it must be even tougher for you.
I think it is poor form to talk about motorcycles or death with anyone who has lost someone this way. Just as it is poor form to talk casually about cancer with someone grieving from losing a loved one to cancer. Cancer survivors have complete license to be flippant as long as they are leading the light treatment--follow their lead and stop when they stop.
As we live our lives we will trespass in the course of living upon the sore points of each other's lives. We must be sensitive and try not to stomp mercilessly. We all like having edgy friends who say the unsayable. It is an attractive and dangerous quality. We are not weak for having a sore spot or two, we just need to be aware that in life sometimes it is important to be gentle. Or to remind those around us to be gentle.
Much love.