Something I can never have (Public post)

It's been almost four years now since Matt died, and for the first time in almost a year-and-a-half some of that old grief is coming back to kick my ass. The other day I realized that Matt's been dead longer than I had the chance to have in my life. That just feels wrong.

For the record, life is good. My life is not all about me as a widow anymore; it's about enjoying my life as it is, not bemoaning its shortcomings. Well, maybe a little bemoaning. We all have our days.

Ah, but for tonight, I miss him. Gods, do I miss him.