i realized you friended me, a little while ago... shall I friend you back?
this post, in particular reminds me of when Mom and I were going thru Dad's things. We just recently hit another deathaversary (11 years, now) and the memories and emotions are close to the surface again.
In a different and upsetting way, it's been liberating.
I remember this feeling. a crazy swirley combination of guilt and grief and open space and freedom, relief-anger-pleasure, ... ??? hard to put into words.
FWIW, I wish I'd had LJ when my dad died. Nobody talked about him when he died, in spite of my asking. I had no-one to talk to about my experience. I'm glad you have this connectivity with friends.
I don't know if I've mentioned to you, but I liked Matt muchly, in spite of not knowing him well. And like other Pryanksters have said, he was one of those people "I really should try to spend time with..." *SIGH!* um, yeah.
so, hi... and also FWIW, I'm proud of you for processing. I held onto so much grief and anger for YEARS. I think you will come to a place of peace much quicker than I did with my dad, or I certainly hope so. took me almost 8 years... =(
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i realized you friended me, a little while ago... shall I friend you back?
this post, in particular reminds me of when Mom and I were going thru Dad's things. We just recently hit another deathaversary (11 years, now) and the memories and emotions are close to the surface again.
I remember this feeling. a crazy swirley combination of guilt and grief and open space and freedom, relief-anger-pleasure, ... ??? hard to put into words.
FWIW, I wish I'd had LJ when my dad died. Nobody talked about him when he died, in spite of my asking. I had no-one to talk to about my experience. I'm glad you have this connectivity with friends.
I don't know if I've mentioned to you, but I liked Matt muchly, in spite of not knowing him well. And like other Pryanksters have said, he was one of those people "I really should try to spend time with..." *SIGH!* um, yeah.
so, hi... and also FWIW, I'm proud of you for processing. I held onto so much grief and anger for YEARS. I think you will come to a place of peace much quicker than I did with my dad, or I certainly hope so. took me almost 8 years... =(