2005-03-14

singerinthedark: (Matthew Looking out)
2005-03-14 10:02 pm
Entry tags:

First entry: Scattered thoughts

So, live journal was always one of those things that was funny, you know... Something you never thought you would get involved in. So, I guess I'm funny now. ;)

Monday morning I held my fiancee's hand as he died. Monday morning every plan, every idea, every notion I had turned out to be dead and false. Monday morning I lost my best friend, my love, and my soul-mate.

Rambling on about Matt, Life, and Death )

Am I wrong to feel cheated? I have had more love and adventure in four years with Matt than many people have in 50 years of marriage. I feel like I've known him for a lifetime. So why should I feel so cheated?

It hurts so much. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hoping that some day I am granted the wisdom to know why this happened, or what lesson I am supposed to take from this. But for now, it just hurts.